Progam aims at childish minds, adult issues

On Monday morning's 6:20 a.m. Bremerton-to-Seattle crossing, the Washington State Ferry System introduced unsuspecting passengers to Hamilton The Pig, an audioanimatronic stuffed porcine character who pops up at booths throughout the passenger cabin during the hour-long crossing reminding passengers "Don't be a total pig!" in a shrill, menacing voice.

The pig -- part of Gov. Christine "Chris" Gregoire's new "Grown-Up Catch-Up Initiative" to ensure that every Washington adult has a chance at common dignity -- was the brainchild of Seattle puppeteer Hans Lightlee, who got a $3 million state grant to develop the character.

"Hamilton is pink. He's sassy, and he's in your face," explained Lightlee while stroking the animal's synthetic fur. "His message is one of hope for many of these passengers, some of whom will learn for the very first time about proper hygiene and etiquette from this little fellow. But he's also a feisty wake-up call for a population-group that sleeps and eats Burger King Croissanwiches from booth-seats used for changing diapers on the previous ferry crossing."

Lightlee added that Hamilton is able to connect with ferry riders in a way that's meaningful to them, capturing their "splinter-sized" attention spans while making them recall the warmth and safety of childhood visits to the Parole Board waiting room.

According to Carol Anne Laurer, program manager for Grow-up Catch up, Hamilton is programmed to address three major issues plaguing BFFs, each with its own theme. 

These include:

• "Plastic fork -- The napkin's tricky pal",
• "The restroom -- Why it works and how to find one", and
• "The amazing world of soap.

"Hamilton is also programmed to awaken snoring passengers, alert passengers when the smell of their food disturbs others, and he even has a feature that suggests lottery numbers and other community services," Laurer explained. "We wanted him to be not just a teacher but also a friend and mentor."

Early response from passengers was mixed.

"I've never liked pigs," said Jeremy Cauliffe, a spot-welder who agreed to be photographed and interviewed at his Seattle Ship Terminal job. "He's got that sly look. What gives him the right to get all preachy?"

Meanwhile, Sharnelle Cook, a cashier at the Pink Elephant Car Wash in Seattle, said she's taken a liking to Hamilton. "At first, it freaked me out, you know, because usually on the boat there aren't talking animals," she said while trying to up-sell this reporter a can of AMP Energy Drink. "But then I was like, 'dang, he's kinda CUTE. Pig gave me a good tip about brushing after meals, and he suggested a new place near my work where I can have blood-work done. That Hamilton's all right by me."

The state government has agreed to continue funding Hamilton's appearance on four key ferry runs through the end of 2012 before launching a blue-ribbon panel to assess his effectiveness.