In an effort to help harried Washington commuters deal with the stress of an economy made worse by her economic policies, Gov. Christine “Chris” Gregoire today mandated that all ferry riders must nap during water-crossings before 8 a.m. weekdays.
The new regulation was welcomed with muted cheers by many BFFs (see previous posts for terminology) on Wednesday's Bremerton-to-Seattle run, most of whom were already stretched to the brink of exhaustion by daily commutes that follow what appear to be all-night binges of cheese fries, Camels and "Rock-N-Bowl" at Champion Lanes in Silverdale. The new law includes these key tenets:
Nap Time Rules for Washington Ferries:
1. All riders are required to lie down on nap mats between 6:20 a.m. and 9 a.m.
2. Napping riders are allowed, and encouraged, to bring from home some comforts. These include, and are limited to:
o one blanket
o one small pillow,
o one small stuffed animal friend, or doll (no inflatables).
All of these items must fit inside a sealable bag such as a back pack, rolling suitcase or evidence bag from recent crime-scene involvement.
The rider will be responsible for the packing, and unpacking, of this container so be certain that you can do this without assistance. Please try it at home. Remember, riding the ferry is about independence. Experience has shown that smaller blankets, camp style pillows and gym bags work best, but so does a well-placed denim jacket and Wal-Mart bag.
3. Nappers are encouraged to use the toilet prior to going to their booths. Once in their booth, they are tucked in (if they wish), and then must stay on their mats until either the disembark signal is sounded or the boat sinks.
4. The nap time rules are simple. Lay quietly on your bench-seat. No talking or fooling around with the riders around you. Both hands on top of your blanket. We understand that not all riders may sleep, but they do need to be able to lie quietly without disturbing those around them.
5. Nap stuff should be brought to the ferry on Mondays and taken home on Fridays for cleaning. The government understands that the use of soap or soap-like products may be foreign to many ferry riders, so we are subsidizing soap for all riders under an Obama shovel-ready work grant. It is best to pack nap items that are OK to leave at the ferry during the week, this prevents tears if it is forgotten to be brought back to the boat the next day.
6. FYI; the ferry has been designed with soundproofing in the walls and a solid door to further reduce noise. Window light is also greatly reduced by the lovely Washington weather, and the riders may enjoy the sounds of muted rap music coming from the gangsta’s headphones in the next booth. The ship’s mate runs naptime, and any naptime concerns should be addressed to him / her.
What a wonderful, and informative, post. Having had at least one uncomfortable incident where a "napper" got surly - even aggressive - with me over sitting in what they felt was their "assigned" spot, it's good to know that while, strictly speaking, it was OK for me to sit where I was; I was also nearing the line between common-sense and government programs.
ReplyDeleteThis reader would be interested to know if there are similar guidelines we should be aware of regarding the use of public spaces, like the cafeteria (a term I use loosely) to curl one's hair, or apply way too much make-up. I ask only because I have had to share that space on more than one occasion with people who would have done us all a service by attending those personal details prior to leaving home.