The 6:20 a.m. Bremerton-to-Seattle ferry crossing on Friday morning played host to a unique new research effort being conducted by the Lakewood Official Society for Eastern Rituals (LOSERs).
Group founder Carlton "The Reverend" Nance, 49, of Lakewood, kicked off the effort -- intended to test whether or not getting in touch with your inner self and promoting peaceful co-existence with the world's oceans has tangible mental-health benefits or is just a complete waste of time.
Nance, who told Ferry Tales he moonlights as an HVAC installer and part-time naugahide repairman, kicked off the event by blowing non-toxic, bio-degradeable, Earth-safe soap bubbles made from liquified farm-raised krill larvae off the boat's aft deck in a "wiggly peaceful blow salute to our fish friends."
According to Nance -- who was not accompanied by the group's other three members due to "an alimony hearing, traffic, and the debut of Rachel Ray's new daytime drama" respectively -- the research has been funded by the state legislature and is all about finding ways to better connect mankind with its origins in the sea and "strum a sizzling three-chord harmony on the guitar of life."
"We presented our idea in Olympia and they were like, 'yeah, go for it,'", he explained. "So we were like 'this is a good sign from Lao Tzu, who truly cared about world oceans."
Although alone in his efforts, Nance was armed with brochures that described both LOSER's mission and core beliefs, as well as an overview of the three-week $50,000 research project that will include submerging "fish-friendly photos" from the backs of ferries during daylight crossings and "whale-inspired mood music" in the evening hours, in addition to bubble blowing.
"It's not truly recorded whale songs," said Nance. "That would be insensitive to the porpi and dolphins, not to mention anyone else trying to get some sleep down there. But we're going to play a mix that I put together on my Casio of whales and sea cucumbers at a really low frequency that says 'Hey, Puget Sound critters, we're the wind beneath your fins."
Regular ferry rider Missy McFarlane, a 23-year-old barista from Silverdale, expressed concern about the validity of Nance's research.
"I don't doubt that we need this kind of study, you know, into how the oceans and us can live together in harmony," said McFarlane, who agreed to answer questions at her shop over an almond latte. "But (Nance) was on the boat last month conducting an evening seminar series on 'Liberian Bank Buddies: Making Friends With Wealthy African Entrepreneurs.' I'm surprised he's also had time to research so much marine biology."
When pressed by this reporter, Nance indicated that the new $23,000 BERU f1 Systems Factor bicycle he parked on the boat's car-deck wasn't "exactly" funded by public research money. "That money was already in my PayPal account," he said. "Then when the State money went in I got confused about which was which, but I'm sure this was from the money I had before."
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