Monday afternoon's Bremerton-to-Seattle crossing aboard the Washington State Ferry Kaleetan was the scene of a public protest, as a group of 11 students from Rainier Valley Community College in Silverdale, Wash., staged a floating sit-in to protest their own lack of foresight and initiative during their middle and high school years.
The group, which calls itself "Daring, Excited, Aspiring Dreamers for Basic Education And Trades" (DEADBEATs), was reportedly founded one week ago during a mandatory study hall session by student and Bremerton resident Randy Galloway, 22.
According to official documents, Galloway told a Coast Guard patrol that his motivation for forming the group came from a desire to build solidarity among white-trash students "like me" who think wearing backwards flattened-brim ball caps is a positive sign in the eyes of prospective employers, and also as a publicity stunt to impress his former girlfriend, Kailey Stone, of nearby Sequim, Wash.
"We was all at Shari's in Port Orchard for breakfast on Thursday," said Galloway upon his release late Monday evening from the King County Detention Center. "We was studying for our Poly Sci test, and I told the fellas that because most of us preferred partying and/or taking metal shop as an elective in high school, that we're going to wind up working at Mattress Ranch or Domino's or such come graduation. I think that's why Kailey ditched me.
"It's not fair. I mean, some of us are taking Introduction to Algebra in the summer, which should mean something when trying for jobs at good-paying places like WaMu or Countrywide," said Galloway (pictured below in a photograph taken before his senior prom).
Clad in an array of NBA logo gear, camoflauge hoodies, plaid boxers and jeans from Chalmer's Big & Tall Men's store, the group -- now dubbed the "floating bozos" by ferry regulars -- illegally inflated and boarded a lifeboat in protest of their lot in life, and in hopes of getting prime-time news coverage for their plight. They reportedly drifted in Elliot Bay for the better part of an hour before Coast Guard officials spotted the sun glinting off their gold ear gauges.
"We apprehended the suspects floating about 800 yards off the northernmost point of Vashon Island," explained Coast Guard Lieutenant James Greene. "At first they were pretty non-responsive; they seemed to be engaged in a heated conversation about sleeve tattoos. Some of them were pretty vocal that half-sleeves are the way to go while the others were adamant on the superiority of full-sleeve tattoos. They almost came to blows, but we pulled a few of them onto our boat just in time."
Burle Jackson, a lecturer at the community college, told Ferry Tales via telephone that Galloway had been more "agitated" lately, mostly due to a break-up with his longtime girlfriend over a recent episode of "Jersey Shore."
"Randy was noticeably shaken on Wednesday," said Jackson. "Apparently, his girlfriend refused to dress like Snookie and he just lost it. He came to class and refused to take my subtraction quiz. That's not like Randy. He's taken that quiz each year without fail. Well, you know what I mean. He mentioned making a public statement of some kind this week, that his life wasn't going to go to waste over a girl. I see now what he was planning. I wish I'd seen the signs sooner."
According to documents obtained by Ferry Tales, the Coast Guard patrol handed the suspects over to the King County Sherriff's Department, where they were booked on charges of misdemeanor destruction of State property and endangering a Maritime Officer. All were released on bail.
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