'Floating NASCAR' dreams thwarted by authorities

Thursday morning's passengers aboard the ferries Kitsap and Walla Walla were treated to quite a thrill as two long-time BFFs and NASCAR devoteees Shawn Meisner and John "Bobby Jack" Flynn hijacked the Bremerton and Bainbridge Island ferries in what now appears to be a publicity stunt to promote their dreams of a floating racing circuit in the Puget Sound.

Crossing the Sound at what eye-witnesses described as "alarming speed", the ferries Walla Walla and Kitsap departed their respective terminals shortly after 6:20 in a race to the Seattle Ferry terminal.

According to Coast Guard officials, Meisner, 62, of nearby Indianola, and Flynn, 19, of the Silverdale Sands RV Park & Travel Resort, first met a week ago at the Floatation Device bar in Purdy, forming a fast-friendship after realizing both have distinctive forehead tattoos.

Patrons who were at the Floatation Device at the time indicated that after a few Keystone Lights, the men concocted the desperate plant after giving up on hopes that NASCAR would ever build a long-rumored racetrack facility and Bass Pro Shop in Bremerton.

"The two men in custody disguised themselves as boat captains and boarded the ferries Walla Walla and Kitsap at approximately 4:18 a.m. this morning, according to security cameras," said Coast Guard Lt. Glenn Walters. "Both made their way to the boats' galleys to confiscate what evidence indicates were several of the little fried and re-heated egg rolls from the heat lamp case, along with Mountain Dew soda and some Jack's Links Beef Nuggets before heading up to neutralize the crews upstairs."

Acccording to Walters, ferry personnel were startled by the gaudy colors of the mens' NASCAR team jackets. "That was the moment of surprise they needed. Apparently they subdued the ferry captain and several crewmen with gifts of free Dale Earnhardt Jr. bobbleheads, Kevin Harvick bottle-opener keychains and one "The Girls of The NASCAR Infield 2011 Calendar," he explained. "Ferry crews are not immune to the temptations of NASCAR swag."

Although the race was apparently spirited, and hotly contested -- interspersed with frequent blasts on the boats' horns and intercom announcements from Meisner and Flynn that included shouts of "whee-doggies!", "Hot pursuit, flash!", and several unprintable admonitions to imaginary pit crews -- security cameras captured the race's finish (below), as the Kitsap, piloted by the more seasoned Meisner, easily captured the checkered flag.

Walters said Coast Guard and ATF agents were awaiting the arrival of the boats, which caused significant damage to the terminal's catwalks upon impact. "Our agents quickly boarded and fought their way through throngs of passengers who were giving each other high-fives, "he said. Once in the pilot-houses, the two conspirators were subdued and following a brief fight with ferry personnel, the NASCAR swag was confiscated as evidence."

A Seattle Post-Intelligencer photographer accompanied agents during the raid and captured the image below of Meisner's arrest.

Meisner and Flynn were booked into the King County Detention Center and await arraignment in Superior Court on Friday.

For their part, the two men are not speaking to reporters on advice of their attorney, but it appears the stunt may have worked.

Gov. Christine "Chris" Gregoire announced a task force this afternoon to look into ways the state can use tax-payers' money to both "coddle disappointed NASCAR fans" while "pursuing a politically expedient and fiscally irresponsible program to use our Ferry system to bring boat racing, and associated jobs, to the great state of Washington."