Woman, doll conquer fear of people together

Sunday's 5:20 p.m. Bremerton-to-Seattle run on the Washington State Ferry System held an air of personal victory as long-time BFF commuter Glenda Burke successfully crossed the Puget Sound for the first time on the passenger deck of the ferry Kitsap.

Burke, of nearby Indianola, Wash., lives with a rare condition known in the medical community as Fearful Realized Escalation Association Knowledge (FREAK) Syndrome, defined as "an acute inability to just get along like the rest of us." On Sunday, however, she stood victoriously on the boat's fore-deck clutching Ellen, a ragdoll who reportedly "coached" the 52-year-old Burke throughout the crossing.

A crowd of at least five BFFs, many of whom reportedly referred to the reclusive Burke as "Gollum" due to her tendency to lurk in the darkness of the boat's car-deck, applauded politely before sidling back indoors for over-priced cocoa.

"Ellen is the wind beneath my wings," said Burke, wiping a tear from behind her Ray-Bans and giving the doll a firm squeeze around the torso. "We've discussed it, and we're done hiding in the trunk of my Olds 88 during crossings. From now on, the two of us can go anywhere, do anything!"

The doll -- clad in a 1980s style "Member's Only" jacket, corduroy slacks and tiny sneakers -- made no comment when pressed by a Ferry Tales reporter, but appeared to whisper something to Burke who responded with a hearty laugh and a playful punch to Ellen's stuffed shoulder.

When asked about what's next for the pair, Burke expressed lingering fear at the thought of disembarking the boat and entering the throng of people that awaited her in downtown Seattle. "One step at a time there, amigo," she told the reporter. "Once we get to Seattle, we'll go slip behind that return-air vent panel in the men's restroom, like always, until the coast is clear. I'm hopeful we can make that next step and get off the boat soon, though."