Clean Air Act Violation draws BFF ire, EPA investigation

Billy Mumpac, 4, of Port Orchard was in Federal custody Monday morning after what authorities are calling "a gross violtion of the Clean Air Act" on board the 6:20 a.m. ferry from Bremerton to downtown  Seattle. Security cameras on the aft deck captured this image, believed to have been snapped moments after Mumpac, a student at the Sunnyvale Daycare in Queen Anne, made his contribution to the ozone.

Mumpac's cousin, Gracie Anne, was treated by medical staff on board with minor burns and breathing trouble before being released to her mother, Darla Greene.

"They was out there just bein' kids, you know,' said Greene, a regular BFF who works as a waitress at the Sheri's restaurant on Capitol Hill. "All of a sudden Billy gets that look like when he's tryin' to open a jar with a tight lid and I screamed to Gracie Anne to run. Next thing I know we heard it. And ran back indoors. Thankfully he was at the back of the boat and nobody else was back there."

Carlton Fitzpacker, an EPA scientist based in Bremerton, expressed deep sadness over the incident and its potential harm to the ozone. "We spend so much time trying to protect our fragile eco-system from evil corporations and Republicans, we now must realize that there is a new crisis being perpetrated by preschoolers. This must result in new regulations and taxes, and I am hopeful that CNN and MSNBC will devote hundreds of ours of primetime talkshow coverage to this dangerous situation."

For his part, Mumford seemed oblivious to his crime, choosing not to respond to reporters. His father, Jack Mumford, said his son is enjoying "jail grub" and said it's actually an improvement over the boy's usual diet of bean taquitos and chocolate milk.

Mumford is scheduled to be arraigned in Federal court on Tuesday.